


Endlessly Dieting... and hating it

by JoelleEmmily



Category: Original Work
Genre: Food aversion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-29 20:56:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19027777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoelleEmmily/pseuds/JoelleEmmily
Summary: A rant concerning my hatred of food.





	Endlessly Dieting... and hating it

For the past... forever, I've been dieting, and I hate it. It's not the eating less part that's... well, eating me, it's the eating healthy foods that's grating on my nerves. I'm pretty much anorexic to begin with, my primary coping mechanism during times of high stress or anxiety, is to not eat, and for the most part, I have a pronounced hatred for most foods. Not because I think eating it may make me fat, I just hate the taste of most foods... and their textures... and their smells... The proverbial fact is, I would much rather starve to death, then eat something I don't like, and I'd much rather eat nothing, then cauliflower mash... And yes, this rant began with an attempt to make and eat cauliflower substituted mash-potatoes.

Over the years, in order to put food in my stomach, without wanting to peal the outer layer of my tongue off, I've turned to spices... copious amounts of spices. I've even tried to find hot pepper flavoured tooth paste for sensitive teeth, because the flavour of *mint makes me want to wretch, but, the venture failed. I practically hate the flavour of everything, even most snack type foods turns my pallet over to play dead.

Another proverbial fact is, that for the most part, I consume more spice than actual food. My favourite dish is Pho, not because of anything to do with the actual cuisine, but because it's the perfect delivery system for spice. A generous dash of salt, garlic, cyan pepper, ginger, franks red hot, Cajun pepper, and roasted cinnamon, aptly hides the true tastes of the noodles, meat, veggies, and of course, the water. You can actually remove all the solids from Pho, and have a perfect meal. Unfortunately, avoiding solid food tends to lead to unpleasant consequences... I'm not talking malnutrition, that's further down the road...

I've been trying hard to broaden my food choices, Pho is pretty much the only thing I consistently eat, that's why I tried mashed cauliflower. But frankly, replacing mashed potatoes, wasn't really a thing I needed to do to begin with... I pretty much dislike that too. The difference however, between mushed up cauliflower versus potatoes, is that cauliflower seems to resist all attempts at adding flavour. It's like a lump of creamed plastic, leaching its toxic blah into the rest of the mix. Potatoes at least, absorb what you add to them. That's the dilemma I face. I don't really like what most people consider 'good food' to begin with, so trying to imitate something I don't like, with something I like even less, just ends as you would expect... me scraping the offending material off my tongue.

One more example of the stuff I tolerate because it has something I like on it, or in it: potato or corn chips. I actually hate the plain chips themselves, but they are great delivery systems for salt laden fake bacon flavour, real bacon is another thing I don't like, and MSG heavy imitation cheese, I don't like most cheeses either. If Ruffles or Doritos sold just the toppings, I'd be in heaven, but they don't, so I must suffer through the bud drooping mushy starchiness.

Oh Universe! Why can't they just invent a pill you can swallow and get your dosages of whatever your body needs. I've tried a few all liquid meal replacement things, but they taste like dairy infused saw dust, and consuming only liquids, causes the unfortunate thing I mentioned earlier. I guess I'm just an odd duck, sentenced to life without parole in a world of blah and gag, finding no comfort in the fries and cheese cakes the rest of the world does.

I am, of course, BITTER ABOUT IT!


End file.
